A Mount Rushmore for SEOs: What, no Danny Sullivan?
If a Mount Rushmore for SEOs existed, who would be on it? Well, according to Mahalo founder Jason Calacanis, the top five SEOs in the world are Aaron Wall, Sean Percival, Michael Gray, Arianna Huffington, and of course, Jason himself. We know this because of a tweet he sent out on February 3rd:
When I first saw Jason’s tweet, my reaction was “What?! No Danny Sullivan?” Seriously? After everything he’s done for the SEO community? How can the “father of search engine optimization” not be considered one of the top five SEOs in the world? Just what kind of twisted logic is Calacanis applying to his list? Did Michael Arrington slip a drug into Jason’s drink right before he wrote that tweet? (Given Arrington’s bizarre anti-JCal behavior lately, that’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility. I imagine Arrington has made many the attempt to slip chemicals into Jason‘s drinks through the years…).
But getting back on topic, let me see if I have this right. Sullivan has invited Calacanis to sit on panels and give keynotes at conferences, and he still can‘t crack his top five. Good god! It’s harder to break through Jason’s celebratory tweet ceiling than it is to get accepted into Skull and Bones.
While I agree wholeheartedly that the five SEOs Jason mentioned are the best in the known universe, I can’t help but wonder what Danny Sullivan’s reaction would be if he stumbled upon a monument dedicated to SEOs based on Jason‘s tweet. I have to imagine he would simply stare up at the thing and sigh, as the above comic demonstrates.
Now the Insane Part
What if I told you that I was hell-bent on building a real-life Mount Rushmore for SEOs? Crazy, right? Well, let’s examine the proposition. I estimate that it can be constructed for less than $30,000, provided that I cut every possible corner and pay illegal aliens to build it without going through a middleman. Now, you might be wondering, why would I (or anyone) actually want to build such a sculpture? And the answer is..I don’t know. I’m thinking we can just build it and then figure out why it was built later.
Where the Hell Would We Put the Thing?
How about right dab in the center of town. The only question is, what town. Hmm…how ’bout Grand Rapids, Michigan? The only thing in the middle of the city is a large river, which makes it ripe for risky and arduous terraforming. Construction will begin at exactly 12:12 a.m. on 12/12/2012. Given this combination of numbers, what could possibly go wrong? On this date, the top five SEOs in the world and Danny Sullivan will be called in to pop a ceremonial bottle of champagne, and from there, the construction workers will be off to the races. They’ll be forced to work for 40 straight hours with no break. But don’t worry; they’ll be wearing spacesuits so they can go to the bathroom in their pants, and if necessary, launch themselves into space to escape the trauma of actually having to build such a monument.
Is asking people to work for 40 straight hours a tad extreme? Maybe, but these are extreme times. We’re on a tight self-imposed deadline, and last I checked, giant monuments to celebrate SEOs don’t build themselves.
Not yet, anyway.
If you’d like to donate toward the statue‘s creation, write a comment below explaining how much you’d like to give. The hope is that by working together, we can build something extraordinary.Share It